Sports Illustrated Launch Week

This week is a really exciting week because it is the launch of the Sports illustrated Swimsuit 2019 issue! This year the theme is all about shattering perspectives. I have been part of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit since I was 22. I have been through so many stages of my life though these 6 years with this iconic brand and it’s helped shaped me for this next chapter in my life becoming a mom. I am surrounded by inspiring women from all stages of life and so many different backgrounds. We all have struggles in life and are at different phases in our life and the SI brand helps to shape our futures and create a platform for everyone to share their amazing stories and grow from them instead of letting them define who we are. We define who we are.  So many changes from a 22 year old to a 28 year old 'me'.  When I was 22 nothing really mattered to me. I did not think about the 'future me' and didn’t take anything serious and was kind of a hot mess. When I was a kid I was never really allowed out to parties or anything so when I got some freedom it was balls to the walls for me. There was no in between. Looking back on this and how I was feeling inside makes me sad. I was trying to fit in and be something that I really wasn’t. Don’t get me wrong, I love a bit of Tequila (maybe too much), but the way that I was doing it was all wrong. I was destroying myself and for a career model, this is one of the worst things that you can do to yourself because you need to preserve your skin and your body not destroy it. Your body really is a temple. What you put in you get out. I thought that in order to go to an event or to a party you had to drink and party even if that wasn’t the case. Looking back on my first year of SI Swim I remember being super nervous and kind of in my shell. I was trying to play by the rules even though, in this world, there really aren't any rules! The world is ours for the taking and you can play it however you want! Like I said before I have gone through so many different stages in my life from the first year of SI until now. I have gone through excitement, heartbreak and now pregnancy! I have always been embraced by the people behind the scenes and each year by the new and alumni of the Magizine. No one ever judged me for drinking too much or for not drinking at all. No one ever made me feel bad for things that I chose to wear or the lack of clothes I chose to wear. They let me grow and evolve on my own and supported me each and every step of the way. They have become not only my idols but my family.

This year, for me, I know launch week will be a new experience because I am 6 months pregnant. I have never felt more empowered to be a woman like I do now and I have a new found respect for every woman though this experience. I found that I have been putting a lot of pressure on myself because I haven’t worked out one day for the last 6 months. On instagram and on the internet you find these inspiring woman who are working out and killing it even thought they are pregnant! It is so inspiring to me and began to be disappointment with myself because I wasn’t killing it like them. I almost started feeling like a bad Mom. Then I reminded myself that I am doing the best that I can do and this is my first child.  Its okay to totally enjoy this moment in life and relax for once! Its totally okay to do this my way! I was talking to my girlfriend who is a 'new mom', she told me “ Just do the best that you can do and know that is enough for you and your child.” This stuck with me because I know that there are good days and not so good days but as long as you are doing the best that you can then thats all that matters! Your child won’t hate you because you didn’t workout during pregnancy.  It's health that matters. I enjoy taking walks and since launch is coming I have been doing some arm and leg workouts but very small movements and nothing like I was used too when I was training.  Its the best that I can and what I want to do right now and thats totally okay!  I may never again look like I did when I was 22, but it's ok because I am not 22, but I will be healthy.  

Picking out outfits for these events has also been a lot different than previous years because I noticed that sizing is not equal and they don't make styles in every size. I am most comfortable wearing dresses right now.  Its so interesting when looking for the same dress in a different size and it doesn’t exist! I have chosen to reuse a dress that I wore on my first launch week! This dress is ultra stretchy and I’m shocked that it is able to stretch far enough to support this belly.  I’m really excited to be using it again! I kind of 'wing' the outfits because I find that my chosen outfit never fits the way I had envisioned it, on the day I need to wear it.  For example, on halloween, every year I’m like “Yes this is so sexy I cant wait for halloween!” Then the night comes and I try on the same outfit and for some reason it looks like shit! Haha maybe its just our minds that play tricks and leading up to these events we hype ourselves up so much that when it’s go time it never feels as good as it did the first time. Bottom line, this launch is going to be so exciting between hearing all of the amazing stories for these woman, the outfits and me trying to fit into these dresses in the heat! =]

 Standing here today, just ahead of the 2019 launch I wanted to tell my 22 year old self that no matter where you are in your life, if its somewhere you want to be or somewhere that you think you should be, just enjoy each stage of your life. Don’t be hard on yourself because as humans we grow and evolve through every experience and things happen for reasons beyond our control.  Just know that everything does work out and you can do and be whoever you chose to be in this world. Don’t let other people dictate how you feel and how you act.  Just be you because that’s what the world needs, more of you! 

p.s. I'm hoping to continue to improve my blogging and add videos.  Please be patient with me, this is my work-in-process