"Self love is the elixir of an immortal heart.” - Amy Leigh Mercree. 

Remember it begins and ends with you, what you fill your mind with is what will become so be carful you are filling yourself up with only good positive thoughts as well as eating healthy and working out regularly bc you deserve it! Sunday night is my favorite because it sets the tone for the week ahead. As I am super new to this world of blogging, I thought it is a perfect time to talk about self-worth and how it is seems like everyone has self-worth, but deep-down people are lacking the ability to connect to themselves.  

On the Internet and especially on social media, it is so easy to fake a smile or to pose in front of the new popular ‘pink wall’ and feel a moment of connection with other people due to the amount of likes or comments you receive on a post.  This is instant gratification that soon can turn into disappointed feelings or your own judgment towards yourself and others opinions causing you more stress in life.  A picture in which you thought was going to get 500 likes because you thought you looked good but in reality only gets 200 likes brings your morality down for no reason at all other than you set expectations that did not turn out and you based your happiness on something superficial.  Also, because you thought other people were going to like the picture and they didn’t, makes you start to judge and tear yourself apart even though there is nothing wrong with the person that you are inside.

So many posts I see now have the caption ‘might delete this later’. To me this means I’m going to delete this later if no one likes which really makes no sense to me at all because if YOU like something, then you should just post it. We are basing the way we live and feel in our lives off of other people’s reactions which should be zero correlation to the way that we actually feel about ourselves.  We are all guilty of this mentality!  This is the number one worst thing for self-worth. Not only are we relaying on other people to tell us that we look good but we are taking hours of our day checking how many likes we received and how the post is doing and making that a part of our self-worth!

None of this shit actually matters! I have spent countless hours in the past comparing myself to other girls that didn’t even look like me and it was impossible for me to look like them because we were so different. I just wanted to look like them because I thought that they were so beautiful but it was something super unattainable and stupid.

I have learned that instead of trying to copy or look like someone else, you can admire that person for what they have but also remind yourself how amazing and beautiful you are!  You never know who is trying to be like you while you spend so much time wishing to be someone else. I have wasted years of my life trying to fit in instead of pumping myself up and being thankful for everything that I have to offer people.

Just because you are at a party and everyone else is wearing the same stylish outfit and you show up in your own different style - ROCK THAT SHIT!  Don’t waste one minute of your time worrying about your outfit or the way you look, show up to the party and give what you have!  No one even remembers what you are wearing but people always remember about how you acted or treated others. It’s all bullshit and fluff - spending hours on your make up and outfit choice. Honestly the best times that I have ever had are when I expected nothing, was dressed completely out of style, no makeup, hair a damn mess and just lived.  I think that women take so much time on their hair, makeup and clothes for other women, not for men because in reality men don't even know or care what you're wearing or how much or little make up is on your face!  I think guys like it better when you rock your natural self with a sexy smile and that will get you a lot further than caking on the makeup and contouring your face because when the day is over and you wash it all off, the real person still stands.  I’m not saying never wear makeup or get your hair done but don’t put so much emphasis or pressure on yourself because your winged liner isn’t perfect straight. It is nice to get your hair and makeup done and if that makes you feel better about yourself then do it I’m just saying don’t take hours of your life away in front of a mirror stressing about a pimple that you can’t seem to cover. We are all human and shit happens, it might also be a funny conversation starter.

How many times have you been in a room full of women and someone in the group is the first to point out how horrible someones dress is and make rude remarks about that person? This is a waste of time and you are pouring negativity out into the world to come back and bite you. Who the fuck cares what Karen is wearing. If she’s happy in it let her be. Do not waste your breath attacking other people for something that they apparently love and feel beautiful in. Honestly, I believe it says more about the person commenting negativity about the other person than the person mind their own business in their quirky outfit. At the end of the day I believe and try to practice only saying and thinking things that will add good to my life not add poison to my life.

This week is a brand-new start and can begin a brand-new approach and outlook on your life. Try to envision the person that you truly are at the core of your soul before all of the likes and comments from people hidden behind screens told you who to be and what to wear.  Do you take enough time to pump yourself up and give back to yourself? In this fast pace world, it is so easy to judge, compare and get your own true self lost under it all. You owe it to yourself to give as much attention to yourself as you do other people. This week try waking up and doing a morning routine like I try and do to keep my mind centered, focused and positive. I love to wake up and before I touch my phone, I say 5 things that I am super grateful for even as small as “I am thankful for this new day,” or “I am thankful that the birds are chirping.” Doing this every morning and getting into a routine in which you don’t roll over and grab your phone to start double tapping and comparing yourself will add so much richness and positivity into your life your whole energy and aura will change.  New doors will open and connections to real life people will come naturally because you will be able to smile and pass on that positivity to the next person.

I also like to start my days by saying to myself “this is going to be an amazing day,” “I accept myself,” “I am proud of who I am,” etc.  It’s important to remind yourself how amazing and unique you are because we don’t hear it or think it enough especially about ourselves.  At night, try to put your phone down 30 mins preferably 1 hour before sleep and repeat the things from the morning or reflect on the day and how you will make tomorrow even better.  Your attitude about yourself reflects into your life so just make sure that you are giving yourself the credit that you deserve and reminding yourself that even though we are all different, together we can all learn and grow from each other. If your mind starts to play tricks on you today remember that you are important and what you bring to the table everyday makes a difference to so many people on this planet even if you might not see it or believe it. Working from the inside out basically from the ground up lets you be in total control of your day, week, month, year and life. Pass on the positivity and make the most of this week! Take it day by day hour by hour and check in on yourself to make sure that you are giving yourself the most! Tackle this week, pass the positive vibes and kick some ass =] - SH